Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
