The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
