The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
