My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
