Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
FUCK WHALES
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
