I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
