Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
