meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
