Non-Jews are for practice
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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