We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize