Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
