I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
