Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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