He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
