The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize