no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize