We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
