gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
