i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
