love makes seman taste better
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
false alarm, still single
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
