they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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