He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he fucked my hip out of place.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
