I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
