Too much gin, very little bucket
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
