just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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