my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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