Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
