watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
