someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
