When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
