We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
