So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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