and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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