doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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