im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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