Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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