Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
