i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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