Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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