is your mom at the bar?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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