that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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