Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
MIDGETS
????
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize