I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
