You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
