so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
