i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
