Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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