I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
