I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
