Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
please come you make the beer taste better
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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