oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
