toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
