When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
