she was so not down for the gang bang
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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