you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
